Self care is the practice of looking after and prioritising your own physical and mental wellbeing. Carving out time to ensure that your tanks feel fully restored in order to face life and thrive, whatever that looks like for you. Self care might be walking, running, meditation, breathwork, journalling, drawing, singing, creating, crafting, cooking, socialising, reading or dancing to music at full volume, it’s totally individual.
People practice self care for many different reasons. Some use it to unwind, to manage stress or to re energise. Others for feeling physically strong and healthy and lowering their risk of illness. What makes it unique to each of us is that we all have different reasons to feel drained or depleted and we all enjoy different ways to replenish that deficiency. It's crucially important to recognise that without replenishing you might find you are struggling with day to day life and unable to face even small challenges. When life is good there are inevitable bumps in the road but when you are dealing with divorce and separation there are lots of difficult moments. Doing what you can to enable yourself to face those with a strong, clear mind and having coping strategies for refuelling yourself after a tough day or week, will make a massive difference, not only to the experience you go through during your divorce, but also your mindset as you emerge out the other side.
Many of us avoid self care, saying it feels self indulgent, selfish or just uncomfortable. We are so used to providing for others and putting other people first that we don’t even recognise we are also an important consideration. We need to practice self care in order to care for others, to show up as our best selves at home or work and to be productive and well functioning human beings. It isn’t a luxury, it’s a necessity.
If you find yourself transitioning from a marriage or relationship to being on your own and you are a parent, you have children who are going to need you, who will look up to you and take their cues on how to cope with the change from what you’re doing. If you're empty and struggling that is going to impact your children negatively. You might be taking on extra responsibilities, managing your own finances, looking at returning to work or moving home, all of these are huge changes that can cause stress and might be a drain on your energy. There is no more important time to know how to build those reserves back up than now.
Working with me will give you space to explore self care in order to find out what works for you. If you’ve never practiced self care with intent before it can feel overwhelming to know where to start. Together we can create a self care wheel, a tool to quickly see which areas of your life are the most neglected and create ideas and actions that have an immediate impact. I often hear clients say “I don’t have time for self care”, or “it’s not for me”. We’ll challenge some of those limiting beliefs to dig deeper and see if you come to a different and more empowering perspective.
If you aren’t ready to try coaching here are some questions you can ask yourself to get your mind ticking over.....
What do you love doing?
What excites and inspires you?
What are 3 things you do regularly that don’t serve or support you?
What could you replace them with?
What’s holding you back from prioritising yourself?
If you feel you could benefit from working with me please get in touch to tell me more about your situation and to find out how coaching can help more you forwards.